Friday, June 5, 2009

MARRIAGE IN THE 21ST CENTURY


The last time i checked Marriage was supposed to be a "for better for worse kind of thing." It is supposed to be a lifetime commitment but these days, i have actually noticed that marriage is like going on a week spring break and coming back. People walk in and out of marriages as if nothing happened. It is fast becoming a trend that sometimes the thought of being single is bliss. Please don't get me wrong, i have actually seen successful marriages, marriages that have lasted for more than ten,twenty, thirty, forty, i have seen them all. I wish people would keep those standards today but in this world where morals are seriously on the decline ,it is hard to do so.On facebook, i read some random quotes on marriage.
Someone was thinking about marriage as three rings "engagement ring, marriage ring and suffering" - anonymous.
Other quotes i read were
"Marriage is yeserday's news, divorce is the way forward and its my kinda style."
"Why get married, find someone you hate and give them half of everything"
"Swine flu, what women catch after they get married"
"Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence ( a life sentence)
"Someone is watching their wedding video in reverse and loves the part where the ring is takne off and gets back into the car and goes away"
"Someone is sitting here looking at the marriage certificate, where is the expiry date?"
"At a cocktail party, one woman asked another "Aren't you wearing your ring on the wrong finger?" and the lady replied "Yes, i married the wrong man."
"In session, someone is now a marriage counsellor, session 1. top right hand corner, click LOG OUT
These are random facebook comments.That mindset is fast becoming reality.I don't think people should see marriage as such. Just as many people are getting married, so many people are getting divorces. It shocked me to hear this morning that Usher Raymond and Tameka Foster are actually getting a divorce,and sometimes i ask myself what really is the problem, didnt they see this coming at all.Was it not last month or so that Nas and Kelis hit the rocks, at the beginning of this year, a budding relationship ended up with punches and brutal beatings when Rihanna and Chris Brown came into the spotlight with domestic abuse. That whole incident was on the news for more than two weeks.It's like these days people just make up and break up. Did anyone ever think that Bobby Brown and Whitne Houston would end up where they are today? I grew up in the 90's listening to lyrics of songs that had Bobbi and Whitney like Alpha and Omega or Bonnie and Clyde. Other hot Hollywood couples i admire are Will and Jada Smith, David and Victoria Beckham and i am praying that they don't end up like Bobbi and Whitney.When all these celebrity's take pictures on the red carpet one would think that they are living perfect lives but no one is living a perfect life, everyone has problems that hide under make up, blemishes that could be skin deep or laying right in the soul like a tattoo. Maybe now i would say that marriage is luck. You may be lucky to find a good spouse that would stay with you for the rest of your life through thick and thin. I don't know. There must be explanations for this stuff going on, its like a pandemic. First you hear of someone getting married, next thing they are getting a divorce. I think this generation has had the most divorce rates. Maybe because there is a serious moral decline.
I have also noticed something, i think heterosexuals are the ones who frequently go to the divorce court, i don't think i have ever seen or heard of a homosexual relationship hitting the rocks.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just thinking out loud. I am not in support of single sex marriags but i think that they kind of stay together more than heterosexuals maybe that is why they are pushing the "Sexual Equality Movement". If God made man to be with the woman why then don't they stay together why are better relationships budding out of homosexuals? What is it that they have that heterosexuals can't just figure out? Is it an estrogen and testeterone battele? I am wonderin and pondering.
I have seen parents of friends walk into marriage and walk out like nothing happened. Most of the time even while living together they live like"worse than roommates", like total strangers to each other and the children in the marriage observe it. Ladies please don't blame men for having "commitmentophobia" or men please dont blame ladies for feeling the same way. They must have probably watched their parents act out the nightmare that was called their marriage.Some children from dysfunctional homes tend to have fear of commitment or rather making mistakes in finding life parteners."What if he/she is not the one?" "I don't want her to turn out to be like my step mom/dad"I mean i think most parents make very selfish decisions when it comes to dealing with marital issues. Other children from dysfunctional homes sometimes more often than not live happily ever after, they tend to become their own personality aside from their parents inbuilt genes in them and get someone who understands and loves them for who they really are to be married to. They find someone who they don't want to make the mistakes their parents made to spend their lives with. Nothing is as sad as repeating the same mistake not once but TWICE.
Something is not right, the motives for getting married might be wrong, maybe its pregnancy but these days who cares about being pregnant before getting married. No one does. Or maybe its about the money, all these pre nup stuff, its crazy, and then the baby drama issues. I mean look at Jon and Kate, they are supposed to be role models for baby making factory women. They have 8 kids for goodness sake and they have just succeded in announcing to the media about not being steady or rather a possible break up, not a smart move on Jon's side i would say, he would be paying child support on those 8 kids for the next ten to fifteen years.A friend of mine on facebook wrote that "Usher and Tameka have finally come to an end, let's see how long Brangelina has left to go" I mean is it some form of prediction, right now i don't know but this summer, i have to go on a mariage tour or rather a marriage bus.Can someone bring up a reality show for singles with commitmentophobia?
After reading all those quotes i don't wish for anyone to look back after five years of being married and regret it, we all make decisions and we must try to live with them, no matter how bad, if you can't marry someone you can call your best friend,don't bother getting married at all because marriage is like friendship on a whole different level, it comes with love and children and enjoying life. I want to go for wedding anniversaries of my friends after 20 years of being with the same person not the second or third spouse. I pray long life and prosperous marriages for all reading this and i like these quotes
"Marriage is sharing your life with your best friend, someone you can count on no matter what, your one true love"
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times with the same person"
"You don't marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you can't live without."
" In the end when all is done, it will be me and you, nothing can overcome."
Wishing all the 2009/2010 married couples to be a happy married life filled with love and beautiful children,i don't want to write any sad articles about anyone i know,please. Love you much