If you want to marry a Nigerian Boy.Lol

I was on my facebook page today and a friend of mine had this list of things a girl should be to marry a nigerian boy. There are a lot of standards a lot of men want in their women but i think women should make their own standards and be their own selves. A man would value a woman who is true to herself, and not trying to "put a show". I want to analyse her list because i thought about it and i think some of them are true. Lets start with number 1.

1. Thou shall NOT be a LONG TINS BABE (you know what I mean?)

Well i really don't know what you mean, the last time i heard long tins, it was from the Dbanj cd.

2. Thou shall not lack in boobs, yansh and hips. If you must, please lack only one and find a way to make up for it.

Okay i know a babe has to be cute and all but whats up with making up for stuff you don't have, if he loves you he will accept you for who you are and not what you've got, marriage is beyond physical. And come to think of it, men really like their women looking like hour glasses, not just another man.Lol!

3. Thou shall NOT be a down to earth, real or ride or die chick. I.e all those ruff, rugged and raw "tell it as it is" girls, NOT WERKING.

If your yes is yes and your no is no, then thats all you need, if you are not down to earth, you will be sending out mixed signals. It works my dear if not then the guy must be a boy and not man, he has a lot of growing up to do.

4. Thou shall not have dew hair (All those afro/afro-kinky "soul" sisters… FORGET IT).

The last time i checked, Jill Scott, Macy Gray and Ty Bello had dates and probably husbands, not too cool saying afro kinky hair is not in because i like afro hair myself. Admire your roots and stop trying to look European with hair that would sweat out after three weeks. Its not permanent, thats why its "due" every three to four weeks and you keep getting those"touch up" that make your hair fall out anyway, dreadful.

5. Thou shall not be a non-church goer. Ladies, for extra credit, be an usher, Sunday school aunty or PRAYER WARRIOR (This applies to other religious sects)

Why would you go to church anyway to just impress a man because you are a disgusting usher who had an abortion three weeks ago,or a choir mistress having an affair with married men? Check yorself, don't offend God because you are trying to please a man, have a personal relationship with God and all other things will be aded unto you.

6. Thou shall not go to club to find husband... YOU GO JONZ!!

Do people really go to the club to find husbands? Waoh!!!!!!!!!!!

7. Thou shall not drink hard liquor or beer. Stick to 2 glasses of wine, IF YOU MUST DRINK ALCOHOL

In my own opinion, you are either a social drinker or a drunk, Choose one.

8. Thou shall not have un-manicured nails (It has to be French manicure acrylic nails).

And all the eba that you will eat in your lifetime will crawl and hide in those nails, what happened to the ones God gave you and are you really going to nurse your baby with your acrylic nails?

9. Thou shall not have daddy issues (victims of divorced parents and dysfunctional families … keep it to yourselves).

Really,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . What about if the guy comes from a dysfunctional family?

10. Thou shall not go without makeup (i.e. caked foundation, studio fix but ensure that the make up has a natural look which is purple lip liner, pink lip gloss and chocolate/natural eye shadows

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Spare me, no wonder some women wake up in the morning, looking like they came from the zoo. Please make up should not be the basis of you relationship, look good for him, remember he is still going to marry you and he will always wake up beside you in the morning staring at all the craw craw and pimples paradice on your face.

11. Thou shall not lack culinary skills. Perfect the art of egusi, ogbono and all variations of rice. Home Economics is in order

Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. Thou shall not be a "posh sturvs". Sushi or lasagne…uh ..Really?

Women need a little bit of sophistication once in a while. "Sushi or lasagna" Lol

13. Thou shall not knack ya head when you have a weave. Futhermore, on no account should you be caught scratching and flicking the condiments into thin air. That is simply DISGUSTING

Simply put, very disgusting.Your scalp must seriously need grease ifyou itch and falke, those are symptoms of a dry scalp. If you cannot maintain your hair then don't get a weave.

14. Thou shall not do any strange degrees, such as development, journalism or medical genetics. Ladies, stick to law, engineering, accounting, business or pharmacy.

Any major you have will land you a job as long as you have a degree and wait a minte, journalists make good money and also get to travel while you sit your ass at home and wish to go on a trip to the Bahamas and medical genetics is not strange,in the next ten yrs thats whats going to be running the world. Law, engineering business accounting, pharmacy. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

15. Thou shall not have a sense of humour or try to even be funny (note: SARCASM IS A NO NO)

Please have a life, if he doesnt laugh,then thats too bad.Laugh hard and strong my dear till you choke.

16. Ultimately, thou shall not go past a first degree, maybe masters (PHD IS AN ABOMINATION)

Any man who does not like a focused and goal oriented woman is an abomination. Simply put.

17. If thou must study a masters, please please, remember to dumb down when hanging with his friends.

A woman with a Master's degree should a man's pride and if he is not proud of you or something then his friends must be losers just like him, you don't need men like that. Give me a break.

18. Thou shall not disclose too much of yourself. You will seem needy

Then what in the world are you doing in a relationship. You don't have to disclose yourself in a day, it make take a month, 6 months or a yr, it is a learning process.

19. Thou SHALL NOT have a sex life or sexual imagination prior to meeting him. Let him "teach" you.

He would have probably had sex with a thirteen year old before trying to sleep with your lying , two faced self, "let him teach you?" I laugh.

20. Thou shall not listen to anything other than r'n'b or hip hop (common is pushing it). All you World music and rock chicks, NOT HAPPENING MATE).

Everyone has a different taste in music, what happened to Fuji and the rest, he might be listening to that while you struggle with rock and roll.

21. Thou shall NOT be an independent woman. (all those "I can pay my own bills" bullshit… Basically , LONG TINS). Refer to commandment one!

Please, if you are not independent, then you are not ready to get married, no man needs liablity women.

22. Thou shall not be opinionated or well informed (WARNING: This might come off as intimidating. Besides, no one likes a miss know it all).

Please don't tell me you act dumb.

23. Thou shall not go to any obscure University. Please stick to University of London, Manchester Leicester, Nottingham, and Reading. (WARNING- YOU WILL END UP ALONE).

And what school did this so called man go to, University of>>>>>>>>>

24. Thou shall not be overly friendly. All those social butterflies and jovial. Personalities…BEWARE.

To catch a man's attention you have to be friendly at least, you should be pleasant in the long run, what's up with overly friendly?

25. Thou shall not be anti-social when it comes to his family. You have to GET IN THERE FULLY.
With the mother in law drama and all them in law sturves, i feel you.

26. Thou shall not explore any originality when it comes to fashion. Stick to T.M Lewin, Hawes&Curtis, pointies or kitten heels, and jeans – Abortion belt always puts the icing on the cake. To complete the look, don't be seen without your thick framed rectangular glasses (YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS).

Abortion belt, nice name for them hypertension causing belts, you should look chic and dress your age, not like them teenagers please.Their fashion age is daunting.

27. Thou shall not hunt in packs (warning to girls with bossom bodies that cant be separated

Thats right or some other woman will end up with your meat.

28. Thou shall NOT be loud. Keep your voice to a minimum always
Basic common sense.Why are you yelling anyway, he is not deaf

29. Thou shall not appear to be having too much fun on the dance floor. When it comes to dancing, keep it simple (Dutty winders and grinders, ITS NOT HAPPENING).
Enough said

30. Thou shall not think about breaking this next commandment. The ULTIMATE, IF NOT YOU ARE FINISHED....It Will be an OYO STATE (on you own) FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.....LADIES PLEASE PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT GO TO THE BEDROOM WITH ANY WRAPPER, NIGHT SHIRT, WHITE TOP GEL OR SHELLY ON YOUR FACE. If you must Do all the above, LADIES, BURN THOSE GOLD AND BLACK HAIR NETS.

This is the funniest as in, i dig this one, get some Victoria Secrets or some Fredericks of Hollywood and set things in motion. Goodluck.